Smashing Pumpkins, Or Grieving What Might Have Been

Spreading seeds in the destruction

“Oh, it makes me so mad. I just want to … smash pumpkins.”

Her bright white hair was gathered in the back, delicate wisps framing her face.

“But that’s not helpful,” she added, clasping her hands in front of herself, forcing proper decorum in a church pew.

“Oh, I don’t know,” I offered. “Under the circumstances, smashing pumpkins seems like an appropriate response.”

She turned toward me, with a look of hope and appreciation.

“After all, when you smash pumpkins, you’re spreading seeds.”

She threw her head back and laughed, one hand on the back of the pew for support.

“I guess you’re right,” she shook her head, smiling a broad smile. “I guess our job is to make sure there’s enough dirt.”

My son is a newly-minted teenager, and is asking all of the questions one should ask as they grow in age and maturity; the questions may have no clear answers, but the search for them leads us all on our own journeys of faith and truth. I’m honored to be part of his, and happy to share mine.

And so last Sunday we were visitors to this little congregation, a decision made after seeing their Friday morning ministry, where they stand on the busy street in front of the church waving signs telling people to have a good day. That coupled with their pride flags suggested we’d find kindred spirits inside.

We weren’t wrong.

It was a small gathering for such a large building; we were greeted warmly by a dozen or so curious congregants. The conversation bounced from the weather to the Fourth of July to Covid lockdowns to the recent budget bill and the damage it will cause.

I could tell they were measuring their responses, trying to be apolitical, in case I shared their worldview but not their politics. But at this point a conversation about universal love, and protecting humanity and dignity and compassion is a decidedly political conversation.

“I just can’t get over the grief of what might have been,” I said. Then I paused before adding, “I feel that a lot these days.”

They nodded in solidarity. And we began to talk about how to best smash pumpkins.

This Fourth of July, grief hung in the air – thick, like rot in the humidity of a St. Louis summer. All the pomp and circumstance was a near-constant reminder of the promise of a country that has broken its promises.

That’s been since inception, of course; a grand idea of democracy (for some) with oppression baked-in and codified. We make progress through exceptions from the bedrock principle that all (white) men (with money) are created equal.

But we’ve always been able to soothe ourselves with the balm of effort. We’re trying, we explain. Please give us grace and excuse our mistakes. We are a good people who don’t always get it right, but our heart is in the right place. We’re trying to be better, to be just, to be fair. We’re trying to be kind, to be good, to be righteous.

But now, the people acting on our behalf are no longer trying – or pretending to try. Quite the opposite, actually.

We are bombarded with breaking news that they are breaking things. The exceptions through which we made progress are being dismantled, our meager progress erased. We’re subjected to constant, withering news of avoidable tragedy and callous disregard. They dance on the graves of our dreams.

In these times it is an act of courage to read the news.

But hidden in their destruction is a gritty gift. There is no longer the veneer of progress, or the excuse of effort. We can see the rot for what it is; the decay is unavoidable, in plain sight. And while the clarity of their cruelty is difficult to bear, as a friend said recently – it’s better to live in an ugly truth than a pretty lie.

Now the ugly truth is inescapable – a gift that none of us wanted, but perhaps all of us needed.

We have been trying to preserve and protect things that were broken to begin with. Perhaps their destruction is making way for what needs to grow. What we can grow. Perhaps hidden in this moment’s grief is the seed of a better future.

Maybe she was right about smashing pumpkins.

As we walked down the front steps of the little church on Sunday, the interim pastor rushed out the door, out of breath, wanting to wish us visitors well.

“You have a wonderful, welcoming group of people there,” I said, nodding toward the church.

“They are,” he said with a broad smile. “They certainly are.”

“That matters now more than ever,” I replied.

And then I took out the folded church bulletin, which I had tucked into my purse for safekeeping.

“You know, sometimes words find you when you’re supposed to hear them. I needed to hear these words this morning,” I said, pointing to the benediction he had read just moments before, which reads:

May God give you the grace not to sell yourself short,
grace to risk something big for something good,
grace to remember that the world is now too dangerous for anything but truth,
and too small for anything but love.
May God take your minds and think through them;
may God take your lips and speak through them; 
and may God take your hearts and set them on fire.
-Benediction, attributed to William Sloane Coffin

“I’m glad you shared that. Just wanted you to know,” I said.

He smiled, and nodded, and ducked back into the church.

I think we’ll be back.

Let’s get to work.

Image credit: Compton Heights Christian Church

Actions for the Week of July 8, 2025

Friend, things may be heavy – but you can lighten that load by doing something small – a “small deed” – to bring about the world that you want to see. In doing so we tell the world, the universe, our leaders – and most importantly, ourselves – that we will not go quietly into that good night.

I call it Action Therapy.

That’s why in each Tuesday post I share a few “small things” – usually a Small Thing to Read, a Small Event to Attend, and a Small Call to Make or Action to Take. My intention here is to give you actions you can tuck into your week with ease – and know that you’re doing something today to make tomorrow better.

Join me in doing so. It matters.

Small Event to Attend: Field Team 6 Social Media Training Thursday

The always-wonderful Field Team 6 is hosting a Social Media Training this Thursday. From their description:

You’re already calling your Senators and Representative every day. You’re going to protests every chance you get. Is there anything else you can do?

As a matter of fact, there is! Post and amplify messages (on the social media platforms you're already using) that tag your electeds about the things you just called them about. Urge 'em to vote yes or no on that bill or nomination. Thank them for standing strong when they do the right thing, or ask them to fight for you when they wimp out.

Why? Because people will see your posts and make their own posts to their electeds! Winner winner chicken dinner!

Finding all of your reps' handles on different social media platforms and creating posts is hard, so we did it for you (on Facebook, Instagram, Threads and Bluesky). Just fill in the blanks and click post!

Want to see how it works? Come to our fun training!

Sounds fun, doesn’t it? Join them on Thursday at 11am pacific. Sign up here: https://www.mobilize.us/ft6/event/772276/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email

Small Call to Make or Action to Take: Support Texas

In the aftermath of the flash floods that struck Central Texas on the Fourth of July, there are many questions. To what extent were federal cuts responsible for either insufficient forecasting or insufficient communication? This is the time to ask these questions of our elected officials, and to get them to reverse cuts in funding before the next tragedy.

Rogan’s List has a very, very helpful post that not only provides links to relevant articles and scripts, but to vetted orgs that are helping victims. If you’ve been looking for a resource, this is a good one:

July 7, 2025 - Could We Have Saved More Lives in Texas?

Small Thing to Read: Resources for Understanding the GOP’s Budget Bill

It’s going to be months (years?) before we fully unpack all of the terrible things Republicans “accomplished” in this budget.

I’ve been directed to two great resources here. The first is from the Progressive Caucus Center, which lays out some of the major policies included in the bill and when they will become effective.

Second, the Center for American Progress helpfully highlighted 10 parts of the budget bill that haven’t gotten nearly enough attention, and summarized them quite well in its article, helpfully titled 10 Egregious Things You May Not Know About the One Big Beautiful Bill Act.

Thanks for reading, friend – I’m glad to see you here! You’re making a difference, I promise.

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