Dispatch From a Delayed Flight
On guilt, gummy worms, and the impossible math of rest
I’m writing this on the notes app on my phone as I travel cross-country with my son – heading home after a few days with family in Georgia that we see too infrequently before I take him to camp.
A few days here, a few days there. A whirlwind, really, and not nearly enough. But it’s more than I can afford to be away, and it’s what we’ve got, so we’ve made the most of it.
There’s been time by the pool and bowling and a hibachi grill and s’mores and nerf guns and a trip to the bookstore. Lots of movie watching and video games and playing with the most adorable guinea pigs you’ve ever seen, and an adolescent cat that liked to circle my legs. (That is, apparently, her highest compliment.)
My son says it was a perfect time. I happen to agree.
Sometimes vacations aren’t vacations, you know. This one wasn’t really intended to be a true vacation, more of a long-overdue visit. But was more of a break than I’ve had in quite some time. I suppose that’s partly because my son was occupied with his cousins and new video games and a swimming pool.
He’s a patient kid who knows that his mom has a flexible job that allows us to have adventures, but that demands my attention too often, and at often inopportune times. I have a lot of guilt about that. It’s become especially acute lately.
Torn, down the middle, every day.
I know I’m not alone in that sentiment, and I know you know how hard it is – whether your other life obligations involve kids or not. Friend, we are all trying to be the best at everything right now. The best people, the best siblings, the best friends, the best children, the best parents, the best partners, the best defenders, the best advocates, the best activists.
The best.
But as it turns out, trying to stay informed and engaged and involved and active while staying sane in the midst of a fascist takeover isn’t easy.
There are plenty of advice columns on the need to “take a break,” and I appreciate their intention and advice. I wish I could follow it. But, for most of us, truly taking a break is simply not possible or practical.
How do you “take a break” when you’re surrounded? When you’re surrounded by the regular everyday responsibilities and stressors of being a human in 2026 – but now alongside the intense pressure of being an empathetic person who understands what’s happening in our country?
How do you take a break in a world where we’re in constant fight-or-flight mode, bathed in adrenaline which taxes our bodies and our minds. It’s not remotely healthy, but checking out it also not an option, because that results in the stress and panic of feeling behind, tinted with a unique sense of guilt.
Is it survivor’s guilt? That’s not the right phrase but it’s almost there. There must be a word for the psychological tax of being invested and informed. You’ll have to let me know if you come across it.
I don’t have the answer to how to manage this moment, and don’t pretend to. And so, here I am, writing to you in the few moments I have before we board the next flight. My son is decompressing in the seat next to me, absently eating sour gummy worms. This flight is delayed; there are squirming kids in every other seat. It’s both hot and cold which is an accomplishment.
In a few hours we’ll be home, back in our space, back with our beloved cats (that will drive us crazy), probably talking about when we can return to Georgia.
We don’t have much time, but we do have some; we’re lucky that way. I try to make every moment count – both for the people I love, and for myself.
Because part of caring for myself is appreciating that while part of me needs to reconnect with loved ones and have sword fights with pool noodles and cuddles with curly-haired guinea pigs – another part of me needs to stay engaged and active and informed and on top of a workload that’s trying in the best of times.
I cannot fully relax without both needs being met. That makes rest a complicated equation.
But at least for the few days we have been away, I’ve taken a deep breath and done my best to stay present, even when my brain wants to go sideways and I twitch for my phone. I have said yes more than no, laughed about childhood stories, poured over old photos and newspaper clippings, admired the flowers and the birds and the butterflies, allowed myself to be supported, and took my time. I didn’t make dinner once.
It felt luxurious to not rush, and to collect stories and memories to keep in my heart for days when I need to remind myself why I do this work.
That’s enough for now, for today.
I’ll tackle tomorrow, tomorrow.
Let’s get to work.
Actions for the Week of July 21, 2026
Friend, things may be heavy – but you can lighten that load by doing something small – a “small deed” – to bring about the world that you want to see. I call it Action Therapy.
That’s why in each Tuesday post I share a few “small things” – usually a Small Thing to Read, a Small Event to Attend, and a Small Call to Make or Action to Take. My intention here is to give you actions you can tuck into your week with ease – and know that you’re doing something today to make tomorrow better.
Join me in doing so. It matters.
Small Call to Make: No On Clayton
H/T to 5 Calls for a great explainer and script. If you’ve been following the news and the coverage of his hearings (may I suggest watching this clip of Jon Ossoff grilling him? It will do your heart good) you know that he’s not qualified.
But 5 Calls has the receipts for you. Here’s the link to their explainer:
https://5calls.org/issue/jay-clayton-director-national-intelligence/
And here’s their very simple script, which I endorse!
Hi, my name is [NAME] and I’m a constituent from [CITY, ZIP].
I’m calling to urge [REP/SEN NAME] to oppose the nomination of Jay Clayton for Director of National Intelligence. The nation’s top intelligence official should have significant intelligence and national security experience, and Clayton lacks those qualifications.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Small Event to Attend: Thursday (Two Options)
If you’re in Ohio – or you’re interested in what’s gone on in the Ohio statehouse this year – join our Blue Ohio Statehouse Training: What they did and what comes next — your summer break briefing. Rachel Coyle will be joining us to share what Bills Gov DeWine has recently signed/vetoed, what could move when Ohio lawmakers return in the fall, who's sponsoring the bad bills, so you know who to watch, and actions you can take this Summer!
It’s Thursday, July 23, at 6pm central. Register here.
If you’re not in Ohio, you might be interested in Red, Wine, and Blue’s TROUBLEMAKING 101: ORGANIZING TO CHANGE YOUR COMMUNITY
Thursday, July 23, 7:30 PM ET
From fighting bad policy to electing commonsense candidates, grassroots groups are a game changer. And it’s no surprise that the majority of local groups are led by women – because we get sh*t done! You can do it too – and we are here to help. Join our Troublemaking 101 training to learn organizing basics, how to get started, and how Red Wine & Blue can help you be successful. You will hear from other RWB members who have started local groups and learn how to connect with RWB grassroots leaders nationwide. This is how we build power – together we are unstoppable!
Small Thing to Read: Your Local Epidemiologist (YLE) Cyclospora Explainer
I never thought 2026 would be the year I’d learn about microscopic parasites on lettuce, but here we are.
The story about this foodborne parasite has been incredibly confusing and hard to follow. This morning’s dispatch from YLE is excellent context. I highly recommend checking it out. (And of course, if you don’t already subscribe, you should!)
Thanks for reading, friend – I’m glad to see you here! You’re making a difference, I promise.
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View from my seat at the Dallas airport. Image credit: author’s own.
I felt this so hard. Thank you for sharing.
I tell people all the time, if we can't take care of ourselves, we can't save the world. Great piece.