Once you choose hope, anything is possible. ~Christopher Reeve
Viktor Frankl, holocaust survivor, psychologist, and the author of Man's Search for Meaning once wrote that “Everything can be taken from a [wo]man but one thing; the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
He’s right, of course. And with everything going on around us, it's a good time to remind ourselves why hope matters, how important it is, and how we can develop and share it.
Friend, hope is my favorite.
I’ll get into the clinical proof – the here-are-what-the-studies-say-come-follow-me-into-the-weeds stuff – in a minute. But here’s the long and the short of it.
Hope is that little pinch of magic, sprinkled on your soul. It’s the secret sauce. The mojo, the Force, the gas pedal, the call to arms – the cry of “Can We Do It?” and the feeling in your heart when the crowd roars back “Yes We Can!”
Hope is versatile – it’s both the ultimate driver of success and the ultimate act of defiance.
Because even though it’s the upswell in your heart, it’s also the perfectly manicured middle fingers of millions of women, politely extended to wanna-be-authoritarian regimes.
Hope thrives by staring down adversity, wiping the sweat away and saying “oh hell yes I can – just watch me.” Hope is seeing the shock-and-awe campaign of lies and horribles of the last eight years, and while dodging the bombs of disappointment saying “I’m not stopping. You can’t make me quit. Only I get to decide that.”
Hope is that purest of beliefs that – no matter what happens or what challenges you face – there’s always a way. There’s a door. Or a window. Or a basement, or a side alley. Whatever.
There’s an escape hatch somewhere, and you’re going to find it.
Because you’re the heroine in your life story, and the story isn’t over yet.
I love hope.
I live on hope.
But what’s interesting is that I’m not always optimistic. Hope isn’t optimism, even though the words are often used interchangeably. Hope isn’t an attitude, or a mood, or a bet, or a wish that things will be better.
It’s a choice.
Hope is a skill and life practice like yoga and mindfulness and eating your broccoli. You can develop and foster it, and cultivate your capacity for it. And you can share it.
And it’s important to build it, because even though hope doesn’t necessarily get you out of a jam, the evidence is pretty clear that more hopeful people have better capacity to get through tough times:
Studies show that highly hopeful people are better able to withstand stress, better able to cope with obstacles, are less lonely, and show higher levels of success. They’re happier and more invested in their own lives and the lives of others. They’re mentally flexible and thorough thinkers; they’re more productive and healthier.
We intuitively know that hope helps us persevere – when people describe the leader they want to have, hope is one of the qualities people ask for time and again. Psychologists even believe that hope may be the most important state we experience.
And when people lose hope?
Well. You’ve probably heard about learned helplessness – which is what happens when animals (or people) keep experiencing the same pain trigger over and over, but can’t do anything to avoid it. Eventually, if nothing they’ve tried works and they see no way out … they learn to lose hope.
And then they just stop trying. They resign themselves, sad, and broken. Defeated.
But we have the power to reverse that cycle.
Extreme poverty has been described as the ultimate “learned helplessness” cycle of despair. But researchers are finding that people living in extreme poverty who are given gifts of livestock or bees – gifts that make them feel like they have options to improve and control their lives – work more, save more, and feel better. Another study showed people who watched an hour-long inspirational video (instead of a comedy show) saved more and spent more on their children’s education, even six months later.
Hope works.
And that’s relevant now, because you’ve probably seen a lot of learned helplessness lately. There are probably folks around you (maybe even you) who have stopped speaking out, acting out, advocating – because they feel like there’s no use.
I see those people, too. It breaks my heart.
So let’s talk about how you can build your capacity for hope – and how you can boost the hopefulness quotient of your friends and network while you’re at it.
THE ELEMENTS OF HOPE: GOAL, PATHS, AND WILL
Hope really has three basic elements.
First, a goal (that’s where the vision comes in). Second, the belief that you can take many paths to that goal (that’s the mental flexibility part) and that you’re capable of traveling those paths (that’s the “agency” part). And third, having the will to actually take the paths – knowing that obstacles will be put before you, but that you have the strength to confront those obstacles or change the path you’re on.
If it seems like “hope” is mainly developing the will to reach a goal and the mental flexibility to see a bunch of different ways to get there … you’re not wrong. In fact, one hope expert says hope is simply “all about options.” Options for paths, and options for goals, and options for self-soothing along the way.
So to start building your capacity for hope, first be clear on your goals. Is your goal to flip the House? Expand the Senate majority? Elect more Democrats to your state legislature? Elect Democrats to your local school board? Pass or defeat legislation?
Now brainstorm ways (paths) to achieve the goal. If it’s electing more Democrats at the state level, maybe one path is GOTV in a certain portion of the district. Another is fundraising. Another is recruiting a candidate…. you get the picture. As you can probably already see, within each of these paths are more paths. For example, our “GOTV in a certain portion of the district” path could include voter registration efforts, yard signs, block captains, and community outreach.
Don’t skimp on this step – the most hopeful people generate the most options. In fact, it’s not uncommon for really hopeful people to have five or six things going on all at the same time. Then, when something derails them in one direction, they chalk it up to experience (seeing it as a positive educational moment, not a personal or movement failure) and go down a different path.
Next, think – in advance – of some of the potential roadblocks you’ll encounter. For example, in a movement powered by women, how will summer impact your/your group’s commitment? Does spring break derail you? Will yard signs cost money? How can you remove (or go through, or use) those obstacles? If you’re in a group, talk about possible problems with group members. Figuring out how to tackle them together will improve everyone’s mental flexibility, and will improve your group’s cohesion at the same time.
Then, when unforeseen obstacles come up – and they will come up – you’ll already have practiced skills that help you and your group change direction without feeling unmotivated.
And finally, give yourself reasons to get through those tough times in advance. Finding your “why” works to inspire yourself and others to keep going and keep trying. Paint the picture. Create the vision. What is the world like when you reach your goal? Why should this matter to other people? Why does it matter – to you?
NOW … PASS IT ON
And when you’re feeling more hopeful, it’s easier to share your surplus. Help those around you create options, find their purpose, and be their best selves.
You’ll be making the world better, one drop of hope at a time.
You know, being hopeful doesn’t mean that everything’s going to be okay.
But it makes it much more likely that it will.
Let’s get to work.
Small Deeds to Do for May 28, 2024
Here’s the part where – if you are so inclined – we roll up our sleeves and engage in what I like to call Action Therapy. Each Tuesday I share a Small Thing to Read, a Small Event to Attend, and a Small Call to Make or Action to Take. You can tuck these actions into your week with ease – and know that you’re doing something today to make tomorrow better.
Small Thing to Read
The Voting Rights Lab has created an excellent report entitled “The Shapeshifting Threat of Election Interference.” In it, VRL examines how election interference legislation has changed over the past three years and what these changes could mean for the 2024 election – particularly in Georgia and North Carolina, two states that experts consider among those most likely to determine the results of the election. Check it out here.
Small Event to Attend
Join Big Tent tomorrow, Wednesday, May 29th at 7pm eastern for “a compelling virtual event featuring two of the renowned experts in “Trumpian Law” – Amb. Norm Eisen (Ret.), CNN legal analyst, and George Conway III, President of the Society for the Rule of Law. Their discussion will center on ‘The Trump Trials: Outcomes, Precedents, and the Future of Our Democracy.’ They will delve into the significant trials involving former President Donald Trump. This event is a must-attend for anyone interested in the intersections of law, politics, and the governance of our country.”
Register here.
Small Action to Take (HT to Sue Rogan for this suggestion!)
MomsRising is making it super easy (and FREE) for you to participate in our powerful Get-Out-The-Vote effort for the 2024 election!
Sign up now to write 20 postcards to registered mom voters who may need an extra nudge to get to the polls!
They will send you a packet of 20 pre-addressed, pre-stamped postcards along with some quick instructions. All you'll need to do is write a quick note of encouragement (they'll provide sample messages) and send them back to us in a pre-paid envelope that we'll provide. https://action.momsrising.org/survey/2024_Postcards_May
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